Be Strong, Believe

I don't really know but i do care for jove's sake, who are the ones who read my entries. . .
10:45 AM Wednesday, June 17, 2009

actually, i used to blog everyday, cause everyday i had renewed and ongoing vigor for life and things i do.

then i had a certain pen style.

and i switched (or should i say, i change every now and then).

plus the fact, i got interested in English and Literature cause of the influence in secondary school.

not forgetting the cute Mr. Lim Yong Khern who is ever so strict with his marks for our papers and essays. to the point of kinda stingy. but he was quick to admit that he was stingy cause he hates to be generous with the marks to blow our egos out of proportions nor does he wants to be mean to put down peep's egos by failing.

which explains why, there's an excess of 15s, 16s and 17s upon 30 for essays, in our english band.
(pearl and i actually confronted him for the bell curve they love to talk about and not exercised in the case of Mr Lim's assessment of our essays. LOL. that dude cutely brought our papers to be assessed by Miss Serene Ow, teacher of the infamous (though slightly pompous but i do admit their english are how should i say? Excellent? Incredulous? Perfect? okay, understatement. they are magnifique.) okay, back to the reassessment by miss ow. she said we deserved better grades like 18 or 19 upon 30. which that can easily give us a B4 but still wayyyyyyy better than a C6.

nevertheless, i love my english teacher. hes cute and he loves his wife and daughter much. sweet.

i miss miss ow's scoldings. not that i really want to hear it every now and then, but yeah, its just it happens to be one of the few things in life whereby you know, man you so gonna miss it when its gone.

and online bickering with timot has never been good enough to be replaced by anything else in this world. they are real splendid memories. though i admit very much most of the time, we two dont make sense, and yes i DO ADMIT I DID TRY TO SOUND VERY CLEVER WHEN IM ACTUALLY PRETTY MUCH JUST TOO CAUGHT UP WANTING TO WIN. but that doesnt mean, i wasn't clever or anything near there. im brilliant, TIM knows it. *chuckles*

i pretty much have to find the goddamned closure. for i am not moving forward nor am i moving backwards. stagnant is. . . the stupid phase im going through now.

i fucking dont give a fucken damn about this online language etiquette. i dont even think i will be bothered by whoever is reading or was reading or WILL be reading ends up being affected by the use of so called vulgarities in my entries.

nothing will be stagnant forever but i wish i am not in this position right now. seriously, it sucks balls. i just wish things can be more transitional but yet, slow enough for my youth to stay. even so, i dont really think i should be saying this but i love to stay as young as possible of course. like all women in the world. but mature enough to be not like a childish freak.

if only, if only. . . but that is all but wishful thinking on my part.

*sighs ruefully*

cried and grew.