Be Strong, Believe

you can, ignite fire in me.
5:52 AM Wednesday, October 31, 2007

block 6 (last mth) has been crazy for me. projects projects and projects. being trusted by a lecturer is good. but to be given overload of work because of the bond, i feel heavy and suffocated.

i was lucky. and is still lucky. to be partnered and still partnering claris. she bugs the hell out of me. we do the worst funniest shit together. our lingo clicks. and music clicks. *not all but most of the time.

its tough on her i guess. i have high expectations. unknowingly, i have imposed on her. but she is a good student to start with, so it isnt hard to tell her whatever floating pending ideas i have and she gives good comments. (: but WOMAN AH, I HAVE LOTS OF ISSUES WITH YOUR LATENESS, BLURNESS AND SOMETIMES having trouble of handling work i divided to you. but i still love you. im sorry to talk to you harshly and to the extent of throwing hissy fits at you.

we are quits. SO THERE! lol

and to burn my weekend having to split myself into two projects (one of which is not even gonna get me any marks but oh well), work and being active as a family member. i have to give up one responsibility and well, i was scolded severely for that. im not blaming anyone, cause i know i was in the wrong. but to be a cousin to my lovely yiqian, im so sorry to her that i cannot live up to my promise of tutoring her chinese before her exams. but shes handling well with chinese, heard she got 86 out of 88 for the written paper itself. im so proud of her. and to be there physically to celebrate her birthday (with my homework in tow) really made me appreciate my family better and i actually remember how much i miss my grandma.

maybe cause im raised in the day by her when im much younger, thats why theres the string of bond and nostalgia. *its like squeezing 1 million lemons on my nose and spreading the numb inducing tingling feel about my entire face. i think i got to tilt my head backwards and let them flow backwards*

enough about me. its my friend im concerned about. because we have status issue, i cannot talk to her like normally. and to hear her talking about office politics and to see her tired and worn out, its not a burden on me but im very disturbed that i cannot help. maybe in some other way or another i can help, i will. all boils down to the point that, i really cannot help her with the right issues.

to see her in fatigue and burned out passion, im very concerned. then again, i cannot show sympathy cause i know that is not what she wants nor needs. but dont worry my dearest friend, we love you still and you know it. just stand by me (:

*plays Ben E King's Stand By Me*

LOL! hahahahhahahahhahahaha.

we know life sucks. we know we are not getting a life. we know we have too much sorrows to share. but the best thing out of all these doubts and dilemmas? they make us appreciate the littlest things that lift our cheeks upwards, much much better. they say to be a lucky child is the most blissful thing. i say, to be a lucky child is indeed blissful, but only if the child is suffering as much as he/she is literally lucky too.

so i guess i must be a lucky child.

cause i have wonderful friends (like vosh and xine who still read my blog) VOSH MEETUP AFTER YOUR A'S and xine, i will meet you every weekend (:

i get unknown and painful bruises all the time about my body and some unsightly marks cause i am one vicious kid in scratching insect bites. HAHA!

i am favoured by Berni* *random...move on people, dont think too much!*

friends forgive and forget with the nonsense we give one another sometimes.

the down and out times when i am having troubled issues with friends.

and i have a great but dysfunctional family. LOL we may appear normal but trust me, never ever judge by the surface (:

im in love with the idea of love. with so much love my friends show me, im going on strong. AND YES PEOPLE I AM SOMEONE WHO HAS HIGH DEMANDS. come challenge me and group with me for projects aights? dont be afraid of me. cause if you are not feeling stretched, you are not living to your best. why waste your own talent when the world is running low on resources? just come and be tortured by me, i promise you will think more than what you normally will.

then again, im still pretty much a kid in whole. so remember to drop me sweets. im easily bribed. and MY CANDIES ARE NOT TO BE SNATCHED FROM ME EASILY. NOT EVER! hehehehehehe.

*kor you still owe me sweets and i still remember you dont like vulgarities. SEE! i so good to remember that and you still owe me sweets. AND HEART A GIRL WITH HOT GREEN EYES and never heart your meimei? at least her pea-brains are cute! hahahaha!

cried and grew.